December 2011
My dad must think I'm really stupid
He just gave me a 20 minute long speech on what a new years resolution is. I get these speeches just about every other day and they’re especially bad because he flies off the handle if I say I don’t care or interrupt him. Dear god he loves the sound of his own voice.
I plan on ending 2011 with a disgusting amount of...
Just as a sidenote
Half of that V-word filled speech in the beginning of V for Vendetta makes no sense or is irrelevant to the movie but that’s okay because he says it too quickly for most people to understand and it sounds cool. So I accept it.
After looking online for boots for about 2 months...
(I’m very picky) and a part of my brain still giggles/screams in horror when I read “17 inch shaft” in the details.
“WHY IS MY UNDERWEAR ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR AND MY BRA IN THE DOG BED?”
– Problems with owning a dog.
The name "Lady Gaga" is so misleading.
I mean.. I’m not very good at coming up with nicknames, let alone pseudonyms, but I really think Androgynous Gaga would be much better.
People who spend a ton of money on ab workout DVDs and other ab strengthening products but don’t realize that no one will be able to see abs if you have a five inch layer of fat on your stomach.
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“I’ve had 66 waves of aliens, and none of my sheep are gone yet!”
– Kristina
Oh fantastic..
Mom: Do you have any plans for new years eve?
Me: No.. not really.
Mom: Oh. that's too bad. Dad and I are going to a party. Don't wait up.
Pros for dating me in November and December
Cookies
Cheesecake
Peanut butter cups
Macaroons
…..
..road dome galore?
LADIEZZZZ?
I’m so glad that none of my friends talk about how much fictional TV characters love each other, or how “strong” their relationship is.
I unfollow and unfollow and unfollow but that stuff will just not leave my dashboard.
For someone who did so well on the LSATs,
Elle Woods’ admissions video idea was just dumb as rocks.
Wake up at 7,
Make conscious decision to not get out of bed until 11.
“Ohhh no. I knew a guy who bought a car from the paper once… 10 years...”
– Peter Griffin
Yay new nook!
Be my nook friends and lend me ALL of your books :)
WatchMy dog does not like being woken up from his naps.
Why my grandfather is a winner:
When he was younger, he decided to start calling my grandmother “Erma”. This is because he met a stripper that looked strikingly similar to her. 50 years later, he’s still calling her Erm instead of Barbara after some random stripper.
“ERM! Come in here! We’re going to listen to dubstep!”
– My grandfather after my brother started talking about a club he goes to for “dubstep night”
Best thing about December 26th:
No more Christmas music.
Brother: If I ever committed suicide, I would do it by fighting an alligator.
Me: What if you won?
Brother: Well then it would seem I was wrong to consider suicide.
Wet Hot American Summer?
I think yes.
straight guys: boobs are great
gay guys: boobs are great
straight girls: boobs are great
gay girls: boobs are great
Drake: we should talk about our feelings
The General Consensus
unwelikaluh:
Shows that bitches love imaginary creatures. If vagina had a choice, it’d be banging vampires, ghosts, werewolves and wizards.
This is what twilight, Harry Potter and American Horror Story fan girls have taught me.
Anonymous asked: that might just be the cutest picture i've ever seen on tumblr.
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Stupid t mobile
They think they can switch skinny brunettes on me and I won’t notice. Well I noticed, t mobile. I noticed.